‘Cos it can’t all be about football. Can it?
Note : written while packing to go watch either Fortuna Köln vs FC Bocholt or Viktoria Köln vs TSG Hoffenheim II (I haven’t decided yet).
So, apparently, Harry Edward Kane is a “passionate fan” of “everything to do with oats”. I feel this statement would be unlikely to stand up to even the briefest examination, but since this examination is unlikely to happen, let’s just see the context (taken from the 3Bears website):
As a passionate fan* of porridge and everything to do with oats, Harry is excited to share his love of nutritious breakfasts with you.
“As an athlete, breakfast is the most important meal for me, and of course, I’m really conscious of what I put in my body, as well as the bodies of my family. When I discovered 3Bears, I was deeply impressed that they took oatmeal to another level.“
- Harry Kane, professional footballer, captain of the English National Team & striker at FC Bayern.
All good & well, albeit that I find the phrase ‘the bodies of my family’ a touch unnerving.
“3Bears” is a snack company based in Munich, best known to me for producing the fabulous ‘Pocket Porridge’ bar, a little square snack that for a long time was the only good reason to visit a Starbucks. It also fitted perfectly in that little daft extra pocket at the top of your jeans, as nothing has since the demise of the Motorola V50 (best phone ever made).
Sadly both ‘Pocket Porridge’ & the V50 are now gone. Smartphones are ubiquitous, & Pocket Porridge has recently been replaced with a “normal shaped” equivalent snack and re-christened, in a desperately unimaginative move, ‘the Oat Bar’. This is just too prosaic for me, even though I, too, am a passionate fan of everything to do with oats.
Anyway, Harry’s Cinnamon Oat Loops begin promisingly with a nice waft of cinnamon as you open the inner bag. The spice must flow!
It sits nicely on the spoon, and maintains its integrity well (no half-loops or part-loops present). The taste is pleasant-ish, but disappointingly bland. Rather like eating a piece of cardboard that was once stored next to some cinnamon in Harry’s garage.
It would probably be ok if you put sugar on it – but then, what would happen to the bodies of my family??
No more than decent, it’s a 4.5/10 from me.
Note: a definite win, though, is the 3Bears cereal bowl (see pic) with helpful prescribed ‘fill level’ markings showing the ‘correct’ amounts for cereal & milk. Just in case you were doing it “wrong”.
*
“Well, we are the world’s most passionate fans
And he plays on the wing, and he comes from France, he’s Gi-nola
la la la Ginola”
(to be sung to the approximate tune of ‘Lola’, by the Kinks, in a Geordie rasp)
Klassik.
